Using both of the energies in a balanced way gives us more energy, makes us happier, nurtured and feel loved. By women being more in the masculine our men have felt emasculated, they are angrier, more aggressive, less loving. When women are working more in higher corporate jobs, have their own successful businesses and by doing this they are in the masculine longer, they forget how to turn it off which stunts their creativity. Women who are exhausted and tired must tap into t

Love is also an action. You can do love. You can show love. If you have read the 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman we can love people with their favourite Love Language. There is nothing more rewarding as being able to shower our significant people with love in their favourite love language. Choose from giving words of affirmation, having quality time with your loved one, giving gifts to those that love receiving gifts, carry out acts of service for your loved one, or use phys

Do you love yourself? Do you feel comfortable asking yourself this? Loving yourself is the only true way to love another without judgement. Many of us do not feel comfortable saying I love myself, it is seen as egotistical or difficult. The fact we are uncomfortable with saying this is the egotistical part. We are letting the EGO dictate how we feel about ourselves. I want to know if you can look at yourself in the mirror and really appreciate what you see. Every bump, blemis

Do you love learning? Are you a life long learner? Are you part of the 90% who learn because you have to? Or are you the 10% that learn because you want to? Only 10% of the world’s population are Activated Life Long Learners. This means that the Activated Life Long Learners are proactive with their personal, emotional, spiritual and professional development. These people are the high performing, self-managing types. They invest in themselves and love to learn. They light up

Prioritise time for yourself. Time to maintain your sense of control on life and do the things that keep you resilient. The following exercise is a quick and easy way to see what takes up your time and whether you have enough time and energy left for yourself to allow you to get through the tough times. What’s filling your bucket? Draw a bucket like the diagram. Start drawing in the things that take your time up like family, work, sleep, exercise. Do you have room at the top?

The lies we tell ourselves are that to be a good mother, good partner, good person we must have a clean and tidy house, be superwoman in all areas of our life for others, to please everyone else and put ourselves last. I heard a story of the burnt chop. A mother always cooked dinner for her family (spouse and 2 kids). One time a chop was burnt. Who got the burnt chop – the mother, every time something like this happened, she put everyone else’s needs first. This is not health

Routines can be good for some stability but if your whole life is full of routines and rituals this can mean boredom, no time to be impulsive or spontaneous. You keep doing the same routines you did for years when you should be changing them up as our circumstances change. Keep life fun, entertaining and creative by ditching the boredom of unhelpful routines. Have variety and fun as a regular part of your life. For example, I had a routine with my daughter when she was a baby

Do you take yourself too seriously? Do you have heavy energy and lots of negativity in your life? Are you weighed down by life? Life can feel heavy, like having the world upon your shoulders. I am sure you have heard that before. We constantly worry about the future, take things too personally, wish away our lives, overreact and suffer from procrastination, overwhelm and sadness. These are burdens in our mind, body, emotions and spirit. When you have lightness in your life th

Be clear on your boundaries so others are clear on your boundaries. You will accept yourself and be clear on who you are if you know what your boundaries are. This will give you a strong sense of yourself and you will become more centred, which in turn will mean you will attract more centred people to your life instead of people who are lacking self worth and have no boundaries of their own. If you lack or do not communicate clearly, your boundaries, you can become resentful

Living to certain standards and expectations is another achievement that you should strive for. Standards are how you live your values, which we talked about previously. They are an internal standard for yourself. Committing to living to your standards will allow you to be in alignment with living your values. Your commitments you make to yourself are so important because if you cannot commit to yourself how do you commit to others in a beneficial and loving way. Our standard

How do you reward yourself for your achievements? There are two types of validation or rewards we crave, internal and external. Often when we are looking for validation it is external. We look to our bosses for confirmation of the type of job we are doing, compliments from our friends and family, appreciation from those in the community, the amount of money we earn, a prize, a medal, recognition of service. However, these are not the rewards for achievement that gives us eter

An unattainable goal that we reach for is to be externally beautiful. We are all unique and beautiful in our own way. The media and society have taught us that we should physically look a certain way to succeed in life and many women hold themselves to this and beat themselves up, have self-loathing for themselves all because they do not look a certain way. Who says that being beautiful physically makes us happier? Internally feeling beautiful is what matters. To feel comfort

I became confident in my abilities as I had self–belief, belief I was worthy to put myself out there. I value the person who I am, so I am assured of my ability to make great decisions and take responsibility for my actions. “Whether you think you can or whether you think you can’t, you’re right.” – Henry Ford I love this quote. For so long I thought I couldn’t, so I didn’t. When I decided that I can if I choose to, I became more confident in myself, I was more willing to tak

To be a giver of significance is doing something without expecting a reward or attention. This will give you happiness, balance and strength in knowing who you are. Do volunteer work, speak up with what you stand for and be loyal to yourself. To be a getter of significance can be unresourceful, it can be playing a martyr, being a victim or creating drama, just so you get attention. It is doing something so that you are acknowledged for it without the genuine reasons behind it

What achievements give you confidence and validation? Did you get praise for your athleticism, intellectualism or academic results? Or did you get praise for how you looked, behaved or played? Or no praise at all? Validation of your achievements is one of the core needs of humans to live a fulfilling life. It is the need to feel significant. We all want to have that feeling of being important, being recognised or being worthy. Unfortunately, many of us are starved of this nee

When you do become assertive, you gain self-confidence and self-esteem. You improve your communication and build honest and true relationships. One of my mentors gave me great advice. She said stand for something, stop being beige and stand for something. Being a people pleaser, this was quite confronting as I was used to going along with what everyone else wanted and therefore was living an invisible life. Once I started standing up, in a respectful way, for what I believe i

Often the simple things that we enjoyed as children or teenagers are what lights us up, gives us confidence and lets us have lots of fun. When this concept of finding your inner child was mentioned to me, I was unsure of what I could learn from it. I went back to my childhood and focused on what I found fun back then. I brought back the pleasurable, the curiosity, the lightness, the flow and the adventure to my life that was missing. By listening and seeing what the little gi

What lights you up? What lit you up as a child/teenager? When we turn 40 it should be seen as the beginning of our peak, not the start of the end. In my view, it is the wise woman coming to the fore and the place to begin from where you can blossom into who you truly are. As a woman, if we embody a life of compassion, vision and strength we are living with power where we are fully conscious and centred. We can follow our calling and know our true purpose. I love the metaphor

Your mood will automatically boost because you have more energy, time and patience if you only concentrate on the things you can control or influence. A way to boost yourself is to boost yourself spiritually. When you understand, what spirituality is to you then you can recognise how your growth as a person pertains to you. You can appreciate the flow of energy through you. You can deepen your spiritual health. Often, we will understand how to boost ourselves physically or ev

A way to boost your emotional state in a positive way is to know what is in your control and what is not. We call this the Locus of Control. Locus of Control is a concept that refers to how strongly people believe they have control over the situations and experiences that affect their lives. I believe to focus on what you can control (which is ourselves) and what we could potentially influence (which is others) we eliminate wasting time, money and effort on things that we hav