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An unattainable goal that we reach for is to be externally beautiful. We are all unique and beautiful in our own way. The media and society have taught us that we should physically look a certain way to succeed in life and many women hold themselves to this and beat themselves up, have self-loathing for themselves all because they do not look a certain way.

Who says that being beautiful physically makes us happier? Internally feeling beautiful is what matters. To feel comfortable with ourselves in this body, to appreciate what that body has done for us, to love this vessel that takes us through this life will generate happiness. Being ‘ugly’ on the inside is what hurts and stops us from achieving joy, happiness, ecstasy, and fun.

Body shapes have changed over history. Every generation has a new body type to aspire to. We have gone through curvy to wafer thin, big busted to no boobs, looking soft to looking hard, wearing corsets to letting it all hang out, long flowing hair to short hair and it keeps going. Why does it have to be one or the other?

We should be celebrating our diversity and differences knowing that what we look on the outside does not determine how beautiful a woman is on the inside.

The beautiful women I have met are kind, supportive, generous, happy, balanced human beings and this to me is the definition of beautiful.

An internally beautiful woman can be great to be around, you can trust them, have fun, be playful, light up a room because of who they are inside not outside. It is an illusion to think that we can find happiness in being physically attractive. It is how we are inside, internally, that determines our happiness.

Get to know the beautiful woman inside and feel the difference in your attitude, your appreciation for yourself and others, and your joy at being alive to participate in this miraculous life that you can have when you stop worrying about the physical.

Stop with the distractions of living a busy life instead of living an awesome life. Distractions are a choice, being busy is a choice. Busy does not mean that we are being productive in our day or living a deeply connected life.

I encourage you to stop watching TV, advertising and the news. Do not buy women’s entertainment and gossip magazines. This is where a lot of the unattainable and negative expectations we put on ourselves are drawn from.

Some research says we can be exposed to over 4000 advertising messages in one day. How is that helping us achieve a balanced and happy life if we are being exposed to messages that are not relevant, not helping our self-worth or negatively seeing the world in a fearful way?

I stopped watching the news, I do not buy magazines and TV is only to watch movies and TV shows without advertising. My whole life exploded with personal growth and health and optimism. I connected more with my partner, spent time talking meaningfully and being in the moment with him. Being present with our loved ones and our life is so much more engaging and positive than losing ourselves in a world of messages of fear, outrage and negativity.

There are studies that tie TV watching to depression, Type 2 diabetes and aggression. The types of shows you watch also can affect your thoughts. I used to watch lots of murder mystery, police shows which always had negative and depressing messages, I am sure that this contributed to my dark times being so low because I could not get out of the negativity my brain was being bombarded with.

The TV news is bad and depressing. Think of the amount of good news stories there are out there. You might be lucky to get a cute animal story right at the end. The rest is murder, assault, robberies, aggression, bad behaviour and drama. It is often portrayed as breaking news to get your attention, it feeds people’s fears and it skews what the world is really like. It is not productive to subject your mind to all this negativity and fear.

When you stop watching or listening to the negative news you need to fill the gap. I now read more. I get more tasks off the to do list, I spend quality time with my partner, we play games, laugh and have fun. I do not feel like I miss out on anything important that directly affects my life. I am inspired to get out into the world and have experiences and adventures.

Whilst I have not given up TV completely I am now very conscious of what I watch and for how long. I might catch the weather or the one minute of highlights of what is happening in the world. I do not subject myself to hours of this.

We also get distracted by Social Media, YouTube, gossip. We have to recognise that these are stopping us from living a life of depth, with great self-love and self-esteem. It stops us falling in love with ourselves as we get distracted from keeping our secret promises. The promises where we said, ‘okay I’m going to do this for me’ and stop being distracted by Facebook and then, within 24 hours, we are back doing the same thing.

Get rid of the distractions and have a plan of how to fill that vacuum with something. Not just another distraction. Fill it with time for you to take a step to achieve a deeper life.

Choose something regularly that gets your heart thumping, so you fall in love with your day and yourself.


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