Do you love yourself?
Do you feel comfortable asking yourself this?
Loving yourself is the only true way to love another without judgement.
Many of us do not feel comfortable saying I love myself, it is seen as egotistical or difficult. The fact we are uncomfortable with saying this is the egotistical part. We are letting the EGO dictate how we feel about ourselves.
I want to know if you can look at yourself in the mirror and really appreciate what you see. Every bump, blemish, scar or imperfection. When we can, we truly know how to love somebody else and appreciate everything about them.
It all starts with loving ourselves.
Low self-esteem and low self-confidence really boils down to lack of self-love.
When I was young being loving to yourself was not talked about. We were told to stop being ‘up’ yourself, to stop standing out, or don’t be a show off if you were talking about your achievements.
When are we told to love ourselves, be the achiever, be comfortable in our own skin?
After I had my child, I hated my body, I hated looking at the stomach that did not magically go away after the birth, the extra kilos I had put on during pregnancy did not disappear. My breasts were bigger and then I could not breast feed so they did not go back to their little fried egg size, so now I had big boobs, which was quite a shock.
What I now understand is that I should have loved that body because of what it did. It gave birth to a beautiful, healthy baby girl. My body did what it had to do to have this child.
I now love my body, I smile at myself in the mirror, I fill up with love of myself so I can then share that love with someone else. I do not judge my body or criticise it for not being the way society thinks it should be. I think wow, it has had some rides and there is still more to go.
There is so much shame around our bodies. We do not talk about self-pleasure as it is seen as taboo. We learnt this from religion, parents, school and media. Women are able to be in control of their pleasure and this is essential to your ability to love yourself. Every little part of yourself, even your vagina.
I hear women say, oh it’s ugly, or they want surgery on one of the most beautiful parts of our body. Men do not see it this way. They think it is fascinating. Why else do they want to experience them. Why shouldn’t we as women see it that way.
We need to stop vilifying our vaginas. See it as a way to self-pleasure, self-love yourself without the guilt and the shame that we have been brought up with.
If you are not filled up with love for yourself you are limited with how much love you can give.
Rate yourself as to how loving you are:
1. Literally hate myself, thought about suicide
2. Hate myself and am critical as to what I look like
3. Hates a strong word but maybe dislike a lot about my body
4. Dislike some areas of my body and have thought about cosmetic surgery
5. Think self-pleasure is not for me, I’d rather the old-fashioned way
6. Think pleasure is up to my sex partner but I can tell them how is best
7. Do a mixture of self-pleasure and from my sex partner
8. Self-pleasure irregularly (maybe once a week)
9. Self-pleasure regularly (daily)
10. Can’t keep my hands off myself
Work on moving yourself up the scale, it can take time but is so worth it. Be confident with your body, love every part of yourself and this radiates out into the world, into your relationships, your work, your family, your life.