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Love is an Action

Love is also an action. You can do love. You can show love. If you have read the 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman we can love people with their favourite Love Language. There is nothing more rewarding as being able to shower our significant people with love in their favourite love language.

Choose from giving words of affirmation, having quality time with your loved one, giving gifts to those that love receiving gifts, carry out acts of service for your loved one, or use physical touch with your loved one. Knowing what is their love language is a key way to putting love into action.

Women are great at giving, giving, giving and often they do not get it back. Or they are not comfortable with receiving. Life is about the give and take. To be in balance is to be giving and receiving just like in love making, so it should be in life.

There must be both in our lives. It is not unreasonable to expect in your relationships that if you give love by doing something for that person then something should come in return. Women must communicate this to their partner that this is how they feel equality in a relationship.

The way you treat others is often a reflection of how you would like to be treated. However, women do not get it back to the same degree as they give. Therefore, resentment can occur in a relationship, guilt about wanting to have something – more closeness, more intimacy, more love.

A key to being happy and being in balance with ourselves is to have the balance of masculine and feminine energies. This does not mean men are necessarily masculine energy and women are feminine energy. We have both energies in us and need the balance of these energies. It is not gender specific although it is easier to explain if we think of the masculine male and feminine female.

As women have been the carer traditionally within families and relationships they are giving all the time. Women now have lost their feminine by taking on the organising, the management, the running of the household. They have forgotten how to be in the flow, to relax into whatever happens next, to enjoy having a break from making the decisions.

This is because we have become more in our masculine energy. Masculine energy is for the hunter/gatherer, it is go, go, go, get things done, forceful, task driven.

Feminine energy is the surrendering and letting go, trusting within self, all about being.

If women stay too long into the masculine especially in an unresourceful way lots of energy is expended, negative emotions can appear, and there can be frustration in our relationships.

I value my independence greatly; when I divorced, I became so protective of my independence because I did not want to get hurt again. So I felt that to protect myself I landed in the masculine energy more often than not. This was part of the reason why I went down the dark path. I was drained from constantly taking care of the house, my work, my life that I did not have any time to relax, to go with the flow, have some spontaneity in my life or be open and trusting of others.

I made all the decisions so even when my partner was with me I was making the decisions, I found him too slow, I had to do things quick and I always had a to do list. I never had time to be nurtured by him, or be happy, relax, I told myself I like to be busy.

I lost my way, I was frustrated, angry and resentful of this even though it was all my choice to do so. Once I learned about the masculine and feminine energies I realised I was always in the masculine and I really missed the feminine and I explained this to my partner so we started to communicate so I could allow myself to be more in the feminine and he could get his masculine energy back.


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